Pardon my French
by AuthenticAussie
Summary: "Animosity." "Pérdon?" at seeing Arthur's glare, Francis rolled his eyes and gave a little shake of his head, "Pardon?" he changed it to, tone completely sarcastic.


"Animosity."

"Pardon?" at seeing Arthur's glare, Francis rolled his eyes and gave a little shake of his head, reminding himself to suppress the most of his French trill for his next words.

"Animosity," Arthur repeated, pushing his glasses further up his nose and flicking his newspaper, possibly hoping he looked like Sherlock Holmes or something like that as he did so. (And didn't that make Francis want to giggle; Arthur as Holmes. The cases would likely only be solved due to the criminals being afraid of his bushy eyebrows. Heaven knows that _he_was.) "Means 'to be hostile'."

Francis had to force himself not to snigger. "Are you listing words to describe yourself, _angleterre_?"

"_Va te faire enculer_," Arthur spat, and Francis reeled backwards, mouth dropping open in surprise as laughter bubbled to his lips.

"I would congratulate you on a magnificent swear but your accent is atrocious!" He said, covering his grin with one hand. "Why don't you try _t__u n'es qu'une pute_?" Arching his eyebrows, he gave Arthur a smirk that made the Englishman press his lips together and look fowl.

"I do believe that one describes you more than it describes me," Arthur sniffled, rustling his news paper again in a way that reminded Francis of a bird with ruffled feathers.

Rarely was the chance given to use his quite extensive repertoire of French insults; most of the time he was trying to charm, not incense, but with Arthur he knew that the other man would give as good as he got. "_Tu es une merde_."

"_Ta gueule,_" Arthur shot back, and Francis had to resist the urge to jump up in glee and make Arthur dance with him around the living room of the Englishman's house.

"_Je n'en ai rien à foutre,_" He said, and then added in English, "I'm rather quite comfortable, so I don't think I will."

"_Va te faire enculer."_

Repeating? Francis gave a mental shake of his head, amused. Of _course_Arthur had only learned basic curses and swears, likely to make sure that if Francis ever used one against him or tried to trick him with one he'd be prepared. What absolute _conneries_, to come from the mouth of one who often proclaimed that he'd never be fooled by Francis' French.

Resting his head on his hands, Francis felt a smirk curl up his lips again, and he waited patiently for Arthur's cheeks to turn as red as the strawberries in his backyard. "Ah, well I would say yes please, but it would be so much better if we shortened it, don't you think?"

"To _what?_" Arthur snapped back, though Francis could hear the slight tinge of curiosity in his voice. His smirk got a bit wider.

"_B__aiser_," he said teasingly, and was rewarded with Arthur's cheeks turning vibrantly red.

_"Putain,_" Arthur shot back, angrily, and Francis pretended to swoon, placing his hand over his heart.

"Ah, _angleterre_, you wound me."

Arthur scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Only thing wounded is your ego, frog, and that could always use some deflating."

"Ooo, the agony of my heart," Francis complained overdramatically, and heard Arthur give a quiet groan but not reply, instead focusing back on his reading. Giving a quiet sigh, Francis felt his smirk turn into even more of a fond smile, and he rested his head on his arms, quietly murmuring, "_Je t'aime_."

Arthur looked up, an adorable expression of confusion on his face as he frowned, but Francis couldn't help but curse to himself silently; he was _not_meant to have heard that. "That's not a swear word," Arthur said, giving him a suspicious look, and Francis reminded his stomach that it most certainly did _not_contain butterflies.

"Shall I say it in English then?" He asked, and saw Arthur scoff.

"No, you'd probably butcher it with your atrocious French accent."

"Ah, the only atrocious accent in here is yours!"

"I bet you tried to call me an egg, or threatened to shoot me." Arthur muttered, shaking his head and going back to his newspaper, and Francis bit his lip to hold back the grin that threatened to come to his features.

"Something like that, _angleterre_."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: <strong>**Okay so these may not all be super super correct because hey I don't actually know any French? (please do help; if you know any better ones I will be very grateful.)**

**Va te faire enculer = fuck you**

**Tu n'es qu'une pute = you are a whore (though I do believe that this is the polite version of saying it?)**

**Tu es une merde = you're a shit**

**Ta gueule = shut up**

**Conneries = bullshit**

**Je n'en ai rien à foutre = I don't give a fuck**

**baiser= to fuck**

**Putain = whore**

**Je t'aime = I love you**

**actuallyoliverkirkland & bacce helped with some French corrections~! v/u\v**


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